She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
