He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
