I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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