why didn't you poke me back
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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