Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks

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  (586): There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks http://tfl.nu/aadi
  Replies (16) Good night (2914) Bad night (702)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

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  (586): if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/wvv2
  Replies (0) Good night (1442) Bad night (557)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

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  (517): dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min.. http://tfl.nu/cx5p
  Replies (2) Good night (1941) Bad night (736)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.

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  (847): If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't. http://tfl.nu/9mwz
  Replies (12) Good night (4566) Bad night (816)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

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  (706): I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor. http://tfl.nu/s5q7
  Replies (21) Good night (2076) Bad night (4436)
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  (805): View more from California

  Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.

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  (805): Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer. http://tfl.nu/bp97
  Replies (7) Good night (3379) Bad night (685)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.

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  (412): He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car. http://tfl.nu/qdlm
  Replies (9) Good night (2115) Bad night (701)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...

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  (503): I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot... http://tfl.nu/6eyj
  Replies (14) Good night (590) Bad night (1410)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.

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  (773): Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive. http://tfl.nu/999r
  Replies (4) Good night (1633) Bad night (367)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.

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  (480): Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous. http://tfl.nu/druq
  Replies (3) Good night (1365) Bad night (520)
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  (716): View more from New York

  definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.

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  (716): definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush. http://tfl.nu/3ehj
  Replies (6) Good night (793) Bad night (516)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.

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  (309): They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault. http://tfl.nu/0avq
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (338)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.

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  (814): Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud. http://tfl.nu/jy38
  Replies (6) Good night (363) Bad night (528)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$

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  (304): I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$ http://tfl.nu/l4gn
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (181)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday

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  (434): All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday http://tfl.nu/0n0q
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (197)

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