Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
