Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly http://tfl.nu/inbj
  Replies (14) Good night (959) Bad night (3545)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work... http://tfl.nu/lwph
  Replies (29) Good night (4465) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college http://tfl.nu/vjhh
  Replies (37) Good night (6932) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Whats the count minus fat chicks?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Whats the count minus fat chicks? http://tfl.nu/9ldi
  Replies (28) Good night (1335) Bad night (3944)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school

  (1-914): View more from New York

  oh right the one that ends on your bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school (1-914): oh right the one that ends on your bed http://tfl.nu/wrnw
  Replies (8) Good night (6411) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van http://tfl.nu/z2ov
  Replies (2) Good night (2206) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned. http://tfl.nu/myfn
  Replies (17) Good night (4074) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit. http://tfl.nu/yb12
  Replies (27) Good night (4611) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/eqex
  Replies (0) Good night (701) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really. http://tfl.nu/399x
  Replies (4) Good night (1490) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener? http://tfl.nu/3402
  Replies (3) Good night (1416) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever http://tfl.nu/l7j2
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories" http://tfl.nu/0nvt
  Replies (6) Good night (1307) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina http://tfl.nu/eog8
  Replies (14) Good night (1760) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all. http://tfl.nu/kqey
  Replies (1) Good night (116) Bad night (248)

Randomize