He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
3 2 1 whiskey
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
