Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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