Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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