would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
