I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
