Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize