lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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