dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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