Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
