ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
