Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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