dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
