i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
