You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
