just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
stop calling my apartment porn island.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize