You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
birth control should be required to get into college
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
