its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
