Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize