More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
