oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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