I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
