nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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