i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
