Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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