Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
