she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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