I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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