That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
