Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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