Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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