She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
