barbara walters just said penis...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me