I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
