how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize