It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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