so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
