I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
