it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
