Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
