what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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