fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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