Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
