And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
