Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize