: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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