Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
