thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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