Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
