I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
