I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
