People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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