I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
