her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
