Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You are a genius and a whore.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
