don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
