Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
