Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
