Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
