talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
