So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
