i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
